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When you are talking to someone, what messages are you unintentionally showing them? 80% of communication is non-verbal so it’s not what you are saying, but rather what you are doing. Everything from the way you smile to how you stand is considered non-verbal communication.
Most people will cross their arms because it’s very comfortable and your arms are out of the way. Here are some messages that you maybe sending if you have your arms crossed:
- You appear to be defensive, closed, and you have already pre-judged what the speaker is trying to say and will not have an open mind.
- If you cross your arms and smile, you give off the impression that you already know what the speaker is going to say and that you are already armed with a rebuttal.
- When speaking, you are showing that you are right, dominant and that the listener better take your side or else…
It can be difficult to be an effective listener, while thinking about the non-verbal message that you maybe sending. From time to time during a conversation, put yourself in the eyes of the speaker, and look at yourself. Do you give off the impression of being “in the moment” with the person, or that you are closed, defensive, and ready for a fight? Don’t inadvertently give off the wrong message. A tip to remember is this… never cross your arms! Simple to remember and effective.