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Your subconscious at work
The next time you talk to yourself, be careful, because you might just get what you ask for! Your subconscious reacts to the dominant information it hears. The idea of the subconscious was first explored in the post “How to Accept a Compliment”
When we tell ourselves, “Don’t forget to bring the book,” the subconscious doesn’t understand the word “don’t”; instead it focuses on the rest of the message. In this case, the subconscious would hear, “forget the book.” Sound ridiculous? Give this a try:
Whatever you do, don’t think about biting into a very sour lemon. Don’t notice how you are breathing right now. Don’t picture a giraffe, the kind with a long neck. Don’t smile at what you are reading right now…
Did your mouth tingle with the thought of the lemon or did you smile? Even though I said “don’t”, your subconscious reacted to the dominant messages.
If you want the best results tell yourself, and others, what you want, not what you want to avoid. Let’s change a few sentences so that the listener can focus on the positive information you are giving them:
- Don’t forget your books = Remember your books
- Stop yelling at me = Talk to me in a normal way
- I can’t fail this test = It is important I pass this test
- I hope you show up on time = I know you will be there on time
- You shouldn’t smoke = Smoking is not a healthy choice
The way you talk to yourself and to others can make a big difference when it comes to getting results. Always try to tell yourself what you want, instead of what you don’t want. People will tell you to do something by using words like don’t, can’t, shouldn’t, etc.When someone tells you not to do something, don’t you want to do the opposite? Make a mental note of it and think of what they should have said in order to get better results.