Driving my car

We all need some time to soul search, those moments of freedom when we are alone with out thoughts.  Once a month or so I get in my car, grab a camera (right now I am using the #1 camera on Amazon Canon PowerShot SX230HS) or journal, turn off the GPS and radio, and drive with no destination in mind. Sometimes I’ll only take left turns, or stay on a road until it ends. Amazing destinations aside, my road adventures always lead to a memorable time because it allows me to spend some quality time with someone that I don’t get enough time with, me.

Between a home life, family, work, and projects, we get less and less time with ourselves to relax and enjoy our own company, and start to define ourselves by our job titles. How many times have you met someone new and asked about them and the first response is where they work and their job title. Few people ever spend time with themselves, or if they do, they have the music going the entire time and rob themselves of the experience of getting lost in their own thoughts.

These drives have gone from something I was very nervous about doing (where do I go, what do I do, how much time will it take, do I have enough gas, etc.), to something that I enjoy doing. Right now I am typing this at a Starbucks I randomly found after driving around for 45 minutes, I don’t even know what city I am in right now, and I’m enjoying every minute of it.

I encourage you to do the same. Learn to love yourself. Drive, get lost. Journal in a strange town, write a letter to a friend from a new found park, take a picture of an amazing nature scape, but mostly, spend some quality time with you.

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Getting Your LIfe Back On Track

Sometimes in life you have to stop what you are doing, take a step back, and take an objective look at your life. It sounds easier than it really is. Most people will not like the direction their life is heading in, but get either too overwhelmed or just ignore the seriousness of their circumstances.

The problem is that most people just don’t know what to do differently? All of their decisions in life, the choices that they felt were right, lead them to these circumstances. It’s all that they know, and it’s not only difficult to admit that you have been wrong, but what to do to fix things? The truth is that we have a natural tendency to surround ourselves with people who are either at the same level in life as we are, or less, in other words, people who  are in the exact same situations, if not worse. It is no wonder so many people are confused and feel helpless on improving their lives.
There are three steps that a person can to do start objectively seeing their lives, but one major life change that a person must do.

1. Put your life on Paper:I like to purchase a big white poster board and make a giant mind map of my life. I start with my name in themiddle, and then branch off with the categories bellow. After I’ve got the categories, I dive in deeper, and then dive in deeper again, as far down as I can possibly go. When people are concerned, for example Family, I break it down into positive and negative.
   • Spiritual & Health: Not religion, but your personal habits and philosophies. Your body and how you take care of it.
   • Professional: Your occupation, investments, financial goals, expenses, etc.
   • Personal: Family, friends, circle of influence, co-workers, physically (ex where you keep all your stuff- Car, house, work, etc.)
2. Find patterns: Now that you have your life on paper, try to find patterns that emerge. For example, if you have a lot of close friends, but they are all negative, maybe it’s time to make new friends? If you have little money saved up, but more material stuff than you know what to do with, you should cut back spending and try to sell your stuff. The deeper you go, the easier it will be to see the patterns.
3. Write down and Implement Changes: This is a crucial step. You have to write down on paper the patters you saw and what you must do to change. Don’t just think about it and keep it in your head, you must write it down. And then most importantly, implement those changes. If you have two jobs but spend little time for family, look for another job. If you don’t implement the changes, nothing in your life will change, everything will stay the same. Implement!

I like to do this process once a year and see how I’ve moved forward. The most difficult pattern that emerged for me was how negative my “friends” were. Now don’t get me wrong, these are all amazing people, but they lived in the past and never worked on creating their futures. It was easy for me to do the same because all of my friends were doing it. But when I did this exercise, I realized I wanted to take charge and create my future, and not let it happen to me. Good luck with this powerful exercise and I encourage you to do this once every 3 months at first so you can easily see your progress.

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1. Those who will read this, and not do anything about it: This is going to be the majority of the people out there. Concepts are found to be powerful, but some people are just too lazy to do anything about it. They will take notes, see how the concepts could apply to their lives, and just leave it at that.
2. Those who will read this, and are too stubborn to do anything: There are some people who feel like their way of doing everything is the right way of doing it, and anything to the contrary is immediately rejected. Whereas some people will be open to all ideas or pick and chose which concepts will help them the best, some people will read 100 concepts, find 1 that goes against their personal philosophies, and reject the other 99.
3. Those who will read this, and practice it: Finally we have those few people who will think about each concept with an open mind, and then apply it to their lives.

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1. Personal Development Wherever You Go

It is my personal dream to positively impact the lives of 10,000 per month. Now these are not just people who I say hello to while waiting in the line at the grocery store or a list comprising of friends and family, but rather 10,000 people who I directly impact through my journey on becoming a Personal Development Coach. Now would you guys like to know a secret… I have no idea on how I’m going to do this!

Now even though I do not know how I will accomplish that goal, doesn’t mean that I haven’t been trying everything I know to get me there. Here are a few different avenues that I am exploring:

• This website (www.RohitRohila.com)
• Writing a book
• I am learning how to coach by working with my friends
• Sharing my goals/dreams with EVERYONE I meet
• Network Marketing
• Personal and Professional Networking
• much more

No one whom I’ve ever shared that dream with has questioned my passion. I bring this up for a very good reason, passion, strangely enough, maybe preventing you from accomplishing your dream.

When we are passionate about something, we become emotionally invested, and when this happens, our subconscious will do everything in its power, even if it means preventing you from ever starting the dream, to make certain that we do not fail at dreaming. Does that make sense?

If I say that “someday I will” or anything along those lines, then the possibility of me being able to accomplish those dreams will always exist, even if I never start. But if I do start, and I can’t do it, then that means that I failed. So most people, instead of ever trying, hold onto the hope that someday that may, even though someday will never come.

Passion can be a terrific igniter, or it can be the excuse that will always hold you back. Take control of your passion and imagine the feeling that you will get knowing that you tried, where most would not.

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Sonhang Keo, Ben Nguyen, Scott Dawson, Gavin Fulton, Myself

During work I am surrounded by hundreds of co-workers. Usual talks are centered around the weather and work related topics. Not exactly the ideal communication to foster the growth of friendships.

In order to increase the friendships, release stress, and grow a successful support group, you must do activities outside of work. Many people do not wish to spend additional time with co-workers, people that they already see 8-9 hours a day, but meeting outside of work is a completely different atmosphere. You are not surrounded by the pressures of “always being on task”. You are presented with opportunities to relieve stress by talking about work, what works and what doesn’t, as well as get to know each other on a personal level.

But with all of the positive opportunities, there are also ways that can quickly accelerate negativity. Here are things to avoid when spending time with co-workers:

1. Gossip: It is so easy to gossip that you don’t even realize you are doing what. “What do you think about….” can lead others to change their outlooks on certain people.
2. Fraternization: Spending time with managers usually is not recommended according to company policies for good reasons. Favoritism or isolation can result very fast.
3. Too Much Information: Your co-workers care about you, but they do not care that you have to take medication for I.B.S. twice a day. Or that your high school girlfriend/boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend at your birthday party.
4. NDA (Non Disclosure Agreements): Just because you work with people, does not meant that they have access to the same information that you do. Be careful not to share confidential information.
5. Compromising Memories: When people are not at work, they tend to relax and let lose. Often times this includes getting a few drinks, dancing, etc. Often times the behavior that we show outside of work is not only meant to be shared with a few people, but can also be compromising. Be careful on how you share your memories of the activities, including pictures, blogs, social networks, and gossiping.

Keep these 5 things in mind and have a blast!

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Though these may be real concerns, they still can not tell you the kind of lifestyle you should have. Your life should be in your hands, but most people don’t see it that way. Why should some event tell you the kind of life you can life.

When I graduated from college in 2002 with a degree in Computer Science, the “.com” bubble had just burst. Downsizing, outsourcing, failed companies, the IT industry was falling apart. I couldn’t find a job to save my life. Was that a real event, yes it was. Did it impact the lives of other college graduates, yet it did. So what was my solution, “If no one will hire me, I will hire myself.” That was how I started RKR Consulting, my own computer consulting business. So a real event happened in my life, the industry was down and so was the economy, but I didn’t let that stop me. I did not let that event dictate my life.

There are examples everywhere of people who have tackled all obstacles and found success. We all have the same problems, but what sets successful people apart from every one else is our attitude towards those problems. Don’t be a pinball, only to be guided by the bumpers and paddles of life. Instead fight through and chose your own path.

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1. How “The Secret” Has Changed My Life

I was first introduced to The Secret about 3 years ago and it has since changed my life. I have worked very hard to make the philosophies of The Secret a habit in my life. I wake up every morning and say aloud “Thank you for this day that I have been given to change the world for the better!” At night I say, “I am so thankful for_______” and then go about listing the events/people/places/etc in my life that I am thankful for or that positively impacted me that day.

Here are a few events that have happened in my life, all because of The Secret:

• Job: Last June I had a feeling that by the end of the year I would have an incredible job. I wanted a job where I would be in control of my future and I could help a company grow, where I did promotional presentations, and I wanted to make “X” amount of dollars per year. I got that opportunity in September when I had a job interview. During my interview, I told the interviewers that the job was already mine, and this was a formality, because I had been visualizing having this job now for months. I got the job and am now doing product promotions for a small software company named Microsoft.
• Romance: After I watched The Secret, I knew that it would work for me, but still I had a little bit of doubt left. So I started to visualize something so impossible, that if it happened, I knew The Secret worked. I began to visualize myself and a friend of mine in a relationship. Now neither her nor I had any interests in each other before, but this time we had The Secret on our side. Within 2 months, we got together for a short while.
• Place to Live: I wanted to move. I didn’t know where or any of the other details, only that it was time for a change. So one night I closed my eyes and thought about my new place. About the layout, the paint, the kitchen, the carpet, the placement of the power outlets, where I would park my car, where the sun would shine, everything, in great detail. I opened up my eyes and drew the layout of my new apartment on my whiteboard. A few months later, I was driving home from work, when I decided to just take some time and drive around and relax. I ended up only about 5 minutes from the freeway, but I found this incredible apartment complex. I went inside and got a map of their 2 bedroom apartment. The layout that they gave me matched my drawing exactly! She showed me the an apartment that just opened up the day before, and it was my apartment, same color, everything, EVERYTHING was the same.
• Money: One of the most exciting tips in that I found in The Secret was the concept of attracting money to you. Who wouldn’t love to just have money coming to them out of the blue, right? Well I went about my day, thanking the Universe for the money that I was receiving. Everywhere I went, I thought about attracting money into myself. I said over and over again the Mantra of “I am a money magnet. Money comes to me easily and effortlessly”, as taught in the teachers of The Secret. A few weeks later, I received a $50 gift card in the mail. Next I received a $119.37 check from my credit card for a billing error. In 3 weeks I had received $75 worth of donations on this website.So in the time span of a month, I had received about $225. Not bad at all

So does The Secret work? For me it is a resounding yes! I am living an abundant life because of this wonderful gift that I have received. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Universe for everything!

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A few days passed and as I was leaving, he was coming back from lunch with two other guys. One of the guys looks to me and says, “So Ro, I heard you are going to be a millionaire.” I looked him square in the eyes, and said “Within 10 years, yes I a millionaire.” All the guys looked at each other, smiled and said, “Alright, well good luck with that.” I said thank you for the support, and left.

Now I am no fool, I know that they were making fun of me, thinking that I’m crazy thinking that I’ll be able to live an abundant life, but that is exactly why I am happy. Lets take a look at some stats from Wikipedia about millionaires.:

Right off the bat, the likelihood of becoming a Millionaire is very slim. So what do the majority of the people in life do? They don’t even attempt it and give up hope of living an abundant life. Instead their lives are controlled by others who tell them how much money they can make, when they can go on vacation, how many kids they can have, what kind of car they will drive, and what type of house they will live in. They work hard for raises that will now let them afford a 50″ TV instead of a 46″.

The majority of the population never even gives any serious thought to the abundant life that they can have, that they deserve to have. So why would I want to be like that? Why, if I am given this incredible gift of life, would I not want to live in in the abundance that we all deserve. So if people do want to think that I am crazy for wanting to become a millionaire, then go right ahead, because by just thinking about it, I am already one step closer than the majority of the people out there.

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1. If How-To’s Were Enough, We Would All Be Skinny, Rich and Happy!

If you regularly read this blog, you know that one of my most influential and favorite speakers is Jerry “DRhino” Clark. Rhino… Rhino…. Rhino…. One of the most powerful techniques that Jerry Clark is famous for is his “30 Day Mental Fast”. Just as your body needs a Reset to get rid of all of the toxins, so does your mind. Here are the 8 steps to the Jerry Clark Mental Fast

1. Read Uplifting Material for 15-20 Minutes A Day- Did you know that 87% of the population doesn’t read a single book after they graduate from High School. Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are great reading material, but they do very little to improve the skills that are going to help you reach your dreams. Instead read some empowering books, such as the ones that can be found on my Recommendations Page. You can get a used copy that ranges between 5 dollars and a penny! Come on now, a penny! There’s no excuse left not to read empowering material.
2. Turn Off The Television- The statistics are alarming at how much time we devote to the Television, or as Jerry Clark calls it, “The Electronic Income Reducer”. I wrote an article about how much damage a TV does to the average person watches: How Much Did Your TV Cost? Now you may want to know what is going on as far as the news goes, but is it really helping you? Most people watch the news before they go to sleep, and is the news empowering or disempowering? Right, Disempowering. So all night long while your body is sleeping, your subconscious is working, and it thinks all night long about the last message that it received, disempowerment. Instead of watching the news, read your uplifting material. Your subconscious will thank you because of the powerful messages that it will be thinking about all night long  If you have shows that you just can’t live without, record them. Watch them 30 days later if you must. If worse comes to worse, just unplug your TV.
3. Turn off the Radio- How much time do you spend in your car a day? An hour, longer? Most likely you are listening to the radio or a music CD, which is only feeding your mind with more toxins. Instead, listen to personal development CD’s or download some off the internet. For more information, read: How to use MP3 Players For Personal Development. If you don’t have any personal development material, just turn the radio off. Be alone with your thoughts, clear your mind, relax.
4. No Newspapers- This is very similar to the reason why you don’t want to watch TV. Negativity sells. Here are the headlines from an array of newspapers that I found just today: “Auto Thieves Leaving Their Mark”, “How Safe Is Your Grocery Store?”, “New Report Suggests Your Kids Have Already Been Exposed to Pornography”. Yes, these titles are attractive and make you want to read the paper, but at the same tine, they are filling you with doubt, fear, and a feeling that you are not in control of your own life. Stay away from this!
5. Associate Only with Uplifting People- One of the most difficult lessons I’ve had to learn is how negatively friends can impact your life when I wrote Are Your Friends Leading You Nowhere?. It’s very hard to look at your friends without any emotions and to judge if they bring you up or down. Stay away from people who complain, gossip, or have no desire to improve their lives.
6. Drink Water- Another alarming fact, the only water that 83% of kids and adults get is through soda. Put away those bottles of soda, coffee cups, and juices and replace it all with water. A trick I learned a long time ago is to take your weight in kilograms, divide that by 2, and that is how many ounces of water you should be drinking. I way 135 lbs, which is 61 kg, which is about 30 ounces of water. Now I don’t know if this is right or not, but it works for me.
7. Exercise At Least 20 Minutes A Day- This shouldn’t even be on the list because you should already be doing it… right? What’s stopping you, get out there and move your body. Do something fun and adventurous. Go hiking, walking, dancing, anything to get up and move around. 20 minutes minimum, ok! Another important factor is breathing. Only 1 out of 9 people breathe correctly. To learn how to breathe right, read the article I wrote called: How To Breathe Properly
8. Reflect on the Good for 30 Minutes Each Day- At the end of the night, do you just go to sleep and call it good? Take a few minutes to yourself. Make a cup of tea, sit in your favorite chair, and reflect about everything positive in your life and the positive that happened to you through the day. Think of the people you met, the smiles that you received, the hugs, the emails, the phone calls. For help on recognizing the positives in your life, refer to this post I wrote titled: Fight Depression with a Happiness Journal.

There you are, 8 powerful steps to help clearing out all of the cob-webs in your head. I will be making frequent posts about my progress. Please feel free to share your experiences as well.

Here is a short video explaining one of the ideas behind this concept. At the end of August, I will be going to a convention for my Network Marketing company. After I return, I will be doing the 30 Day Mental Fast and I challenge others to do it with me as well. Enjoy this short video:

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• Eating dinner at a nice restaurant with yourself
• Going to see a movie by yourself
• Shopping by yourself
• Seeing a Seattle Mariner’s Game (sorry, I’m a little biased) by yourself

If the thought of going anywhere in public alone frightens you, take a deep breath, and ask yourself this thought provoking and philosophical question… Why?
I asked a few people this question and always got the same response back. Doing activities alone makes people feel uncomfortable because they don’t want others to think they don’t have any friends. I understand this, because I felt the same. Once or twice I had gone to go to a movie by myself and I ran out of there as soon as it was over, for fear that someone would see me.

Things changed for me after I watched The Secret. One of the speakers, Lisa Nichols, spoke about how she didn’t look like any of the “beautiful” people while she was growing up. “It wasn’t until I stopped and fell in love with Lisa, full lips, round hips, mocha skin, afro, that the rest of the world began to fall in love with Lisa.”
If you can’t go out with yourself and enjoy your company, how will others? I spoke to a friend of mine, Ashley Holman, who told me that once or twice a month, she would go on a date with herself. She did everything from dinner a movie, to renting videos and drinking wine. Not only did this give her a chance to slow down and relax, but it also gave her the opportunity to fall in love with herself.

Take a few moments to complete an inventory of yourself. What qualities do you have that make you unique? At first I struggled with this, I always looked at the differences as weakness instead of turning them into positives. If you ask me now who Rohit Rohila is, you will get a wonderful answer. Rohit Rohila has a big beautiful smile, he is short which makes him a great hugger, and he has deep brown caring eyes.
Take yourself out on a date with yourself tonight and fell in love 

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