There is inside of us all the desire to be recognized and appreciated. We are our own worst enemies, taking simple “flaws” and exaggerating them in our minds until they become the defining features in our lives. We will do nice things, hold doors open, say ‘thank you’ and ‘please’, let a car in front of us, or give up that last slice of pizza, but do we do those things because it is nice, or are we looking for a little something in return, even a thank you or a smile. Does that make it a selfish act?

I don’t think that it does. Yes, it does bother me a bit when I hold the door open for a stranger and they do not even say thank you, but if I was doing it for a selfish reason, always looking for the thank you, I wouldn’t be doing it at all. Just because the possibility of a reward exists, you do not do something for that reason. If I find a wallet, I do not return it in the hopes for a cash reward, but I do it because it is the right thing to do.

The reward that you can receive from doing something anonymous, however, is like the first sip of an fine wine or the feeling you get having dirt flying in your face as you slide headfirst into home. When was the last time you did something anonymous for someone? Leaving flowers on a doorstep, or movie tickets under a windshield wiper?

The strength of an anonymous deed for the person receiving does not come from the gift itself, but rather the feeling of knowing that they have touched the lives of so many people, that someone has gone out of their way to do something nice. It becomes a reflection of the type of person you are and the power that you have to touch lives.

So I’m going to do my part, do something annonymous. I encourage everyone to do the same as well. And when you have, don’t share it with anyone, let it be your secret, your moment of happiness, your own little gift to yourself.

“Accountabilibuddy”, I love that word. I first heard it on an episode of South Park, title “Cartman Sucks”. During that episode, my favorite character Leopold “Butters” Scotch befriends and individual at camp and they become accountabilibuddies, someone to hold each other accountable. This is a very special relationship, and even though it’s a fun word, it should be taken very seriously.

I now use this term with all of the people that I coach. So what does it take to be an accountabilibuddy? It takes a strong commitment to not only yourself, but also to your accountabilibuddy. Here are some ways that accountabilibuddies can work together:

• If you make a commitment, stick to it
• Communicate often (in person, phone, email, etc.)
• Be honest with each other. If one of you is slacking, let the other person know
• Deadlines are important, and must be met

To set yourself up with an accountabilibuddy, go to someone you trust and can be honest with. Be careful when it comes to friendship because often times, people will hold back being honest out of fear of hurting feelings. If you would like me to be your accountabilibuddy, send me an email and tell me what some of your goals are. I will be more than happy to help in any way that I can.

It is said that only a very emotional or tragic event can help you find a purpose, a direction, to change your life. For my mentor Jim Rohn, that emotional event happened at the age of 25. A little girl knocked on his door and gave him a presentation about Girl Scout Cookies. She politely smiled and asked him to purchase a box. He didn’t want to tell her that he was a 25 year old man with and couldn’t afford the $2 to buy a box of cookies. So he did the only thing he could think of, he lied to that little girl and told her he had already purchased some cookies earlier. She politely thanked him for his time and for supporting the Girl Scouts by buying some cookies earlier. He closed the door, and thought about what he had just done. How low could he get, lying to a Girl Scout over $2. That was the day that turned his life around.

For me, it was a recent trip back home, to India. I wasn’t born there, but the last time was 12-13 years ago. Reality hit me pretty hard. Homeless children, poverty, litter, illiteracy, all staring me right in the face. Here I was in my Kenneth Cole shoes, Aéropostale Jeans, Nike shirt, Bulova watch, Eddie Bower sunglasses, and a backpack with a cell phone, MP3 player, and laptop.

I thought about all the times I would spend at a coffee shop drinking lattes, while back in my home country, children were singing and dancing in the streets, trying to encourage people give them their spare change. The truth was that I was just like Jim, I couldn’t help them because I didn’t have the money. As successful as I was back home, globally, I hadn’t done anything. The world, so far, was not better off having me in it, and that was a wakeup call for me. That was, the day that changed my life.

I highly recommend Jim Rohn’s audio cd series “The Day That Turns Your Life Around.” For more information, please check the Recommendations page.