7 Points to a Great Apology
Comments Posted by Rohit Rohila in Communication
The other night I was supposed to meet with a person that I am coaching at 6:30 PM at a local coffee shop. At 6:45 I called and left a message. At 7:00 PM I left another message. Finally at 7:30 I left to come back home. The coffee shop is 15 minutes away from my house, and to get ready for the meeting, it took me about 30 minutes. So all said and done, I had just wasted 1 hour at the coffee shop, 1 hour driving back and forth, and 30 minutes getting ready for a total of 2 and a half hours.
I finally got a text message around 10:00 PM that said, “Hey, I fell asleep after I got off of work. Sorry.”
That’s it, no real apology, no real explanation. How likely do you think I am to work with this person again?
I started thinking about how little apologies mean because of how little thought goes into them. How many times a day do you hear, “I’m sorry” said with no emotion or sincerity? Here are 7 points to include in a sincere apology:
- Be sincere in your apology- “I’m sincerely sorry…”
- What you did- “That I missed our meeting.”
- Why you did it, don’t justify by using the word ‘because’- “I had fallen asleep when I got home from work.”
- How the other person felt- “I know that you must be feeling that I am not reliable…”
- How it impacted the other person- “And that you wasted a lot of time waiting for me…”
- Tell them how you can fix it- “But I would really appreciate it if you gave me another chance.”
- Apologize again and why- “I really am sorry I missed our meeting”
Can you see the difference? Do you think I would work with this person again if they had given me that response? Of course I would because they just let me know that they value my time and want to put forth the effort to make things right. Also, having a sincere apology that explains what happens and how to fix things also does wonders when it comes to defusing a volatile situation.
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